You don’t want to get too close to the table full of eggs. You wander over to where JoJo is standing, idly scanning through the grasses as she listens in on Kisska and Sugar Daddy talking.

“No, no I really can’t part with them,” Kisska is saying, shaking her head at Sugar Daddy. He has gotten out a cheque book and you notice that a full-body picture of a winking Diega is the background of each page.

“Please, name your price! They don’t call me Sugar Daddy for nothing,” Sugar Daddy exclaims in a gruff voice.

Kisska looks at him blankly.

“Because of the money,” he adds, “and the candy.” A pause. “And my Daddy...qualities,” he trails off under Kisska’s withering look.

“I assure you, there is nothing that would get me to part with one of my precious rabbits. They need to be cared for in a very particular way. They are sensitive, you know. The emotional labour involved,” she exhales, shaking her head, “I just don’t trust that you can handle them.”

Sugar Daddy opens his mouth to protest once more when a strange silence fills the air. It’s hard to tell what has happened at first and then you realize — the vibrations from the rabbits have stopped.

Kisska sighs, looking disappointed.

“I told her not to touch the eggs,” she says to no one, just as the vibrations start up again, incredibly loud, a buzzing that fills the room. You all turn to find a swarm of rabbits piled on top of each other on the other end of the room, carrying a struggling Diega aloft as they move toward the sorting chutes.

“DIEGA!” Sugar Daddy cries, flinging his cheque book in the air as he sprints toward her. JoJo reaches down and grabs it, sliding it covertly in her pocket. You give her a look.

“What?” she shrugs, then her eyes get big as she looks at what’s happening behind you. You whip your head around just in time to see a shrieking Diega being pushed over into the Very, Very Bad chute and Sugar Daddy diving behind her, a single velvet loafer flying off and scattering the pile of rabbits as he disappears from sight.

You and JoJo both turn to Kisska, who is biting her lip thoughtfully.

“I guess she was just a very, very bad girl,” she says. “Nothing to be done about that, I’m afraid.” She reaches down absently to pet a rabbit that has cuddled up against her ankle. “Ready to finish the tour — JoJo, Charli?”

You both nod, surprised that she actually knows your names. With a soft smile, Kisska beckons you toward another door at the end of the room, an old-fashioned office door with PRINCESSY KISSKA emblazoned on the glass in thick gold letters. You enter to find a completely nondescript office — piles of papers stacked on a mahogany desk, a dark green swivel chair, filing cabinets, a whiteboard with notes like “Chastity cage + aquarium = ?” and “Ring patent office re: gobstoppers”. Kisska leans against the desk and gingerly removes her tiara, setting it next to her as she shakes her dark hair free.

You try to hide your disappointment — is this really the end of the tour? Sure, you’ve seen a lot but you still feel there’s so many things you haven’t had the chance to do.

“So what happens in this room?” you ask. Kisska gives you a curious look, like she’s sizing you up for a fight.

“This is the most important room in the whole factory,” Kisska says. “It’s where I dream up all my ideas. It’s how I keep things running. And-” she adds dramatically, “it’s the place where I like to make my most dramatic announcements.” You hear the door open behind you and you turn to see Helene Le Schneidere, Kisska’s assistant, entering, still wearing her white lab coat.

“I believe you remember Helene,” Kisska says, and a sly smile creeps onto her face. “Although maybe you’d be more familiar with her internet persona?”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m The Real Slutworth, Charli,” Helene says, splaying her fingers wide in a ta-da motion.

You’re confused. “But wait, I thought Slutworth wanted pictures of the factory? Why would you want pictures of your own factory?”

Kisska stands to her feet, bouncing excitedly.

“It was a test, Charli! I asked you to turn in your phones at the start, knowing how tempting it would be to take photos when you were inside. You were the only one who respected my boundaries, the only one that took them seriously! The others couldn’t wait to go against my wishes and sell my secrets.”

“So you trap them in a TV and let them get carried off by a river of lube?” JoJo asks. “Why didn’t you just tell them you knew they had cell phones?”

Kisska frowns thoughtfully, “Wow I guess I never thought of that.” She shrugs and smiles. “No harm done, though. Well, no harm done to us.”

JoJo looks unconvinced and Kisska sighs.

“Oh come on, they’re fine! See for yourselves.”

She reaches under the desk to press a hidden button and the whiteboard flips, revealing a series of security cameras. In one, Arnold Slick is sitting fully clothed in a bubble bath, slipping around wildly while a team of SAMMs attempts (rather unsuccessfully, it seems) to scrub the lube off him. In another, Viola is being led out the front doors, wincing against the light as if recovering from a bad hangover, while her handbag is pushed behind her on a hospital gurney. Diega and Sugar Daddy can be seen being extricated from a huge crate of discarded vibrating eggs by a SAMM in a hard hat operating a crane, while another set of SAMMs tinker with the wires poking out of a TV screen, where a miniature pixelated Jessica is explaining the difference between acid house and hardvapour music to the bored-looking banquet guests from the Pornovision.

Kisska presses the button and the whiteboard flips back.

“See Charli? You respected my boundaries and you were still able to try some sexy new things, to create your own adventure,” She winks at you and JoJo. “I remember my first time in the sunflower patch.”

A warm feeling starts to come over you, from deep in your chest. JoJo is smiling at you, squeezing your arm. Kisska’s right. You did try new things. You did have an adventure. You finally let go of all the things that had been weighing you down, and it felt good.

“I need another person on my team, someone I can trust,” Kisska says earnestly. “This competition was meant to help me find that person, bring in some new blood, help keep the juices flowing, so to speak.” She reaches out and takes both your hands. “Charli, will come work with me here at the factory? Become one of my partners in sex toy creatification?”

You can’t believe it. You stare at Kisska open-mouthed. JoJo nudges you hissing, “Charli, say yes!”

You don’t have to be told twice.

“Yes, of course I will!” you shout. Kisska pulls you in for a hug and JoJo and Helene join in. As you are wrapped up in their embrace the warm feeling spreads, filling you up. You all break apart, smiling at each other, the excitement you feel like an electric current between you.

“Well we’ll get that all sorted in the next few days, but as for now... the tour doesn’t have to end here,” Kisska says lightly, fixing her golden eyes on yours. You feel JoJo reaching for your hand, running her thumb lightly over your own. “There’s still a room we haven't seen: my private quarters upstairs.” She reaches out and tucks a lock of hair behind your ear. “I sometimes like to try out new inventions in a more secluded atmosphere.”

JoJo squeezes your hand harder and you look over to see her biting her lip at you, that same sultry look she had in the sunflower patch on her face. Helene has her arm around Kisska’s waist, smiling as she waits for your response.

“Well, of course,” you say, squeezing JoJo’s hand back, “Let the tour continue.”